Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dear Ms. Winter

Dear Jessa,

Greetings from outer space! Sorry for the belated greetings. I miscalculated the light-year distance of Earth and our planet again for Intergalacticmail. Nonetheless, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you had a good one! I have a lot of things to say to you, but here comes my birthday wishes first. May you have many more to come, and I hope each would be a much Happier Birthday than the last one. I knew this one wasn't exactly happy, but its swell right? :) I mean, its not like they intended to forget your birthday, you child. So what if its late, at least they still greeted you. Love is not always reciprocal. Whats more important is that you send your love, and don't expect too much in return. Its wrong to remove you're birthday update in facebook just to test how well they'll remember it. You're being too emu. And here again Jessa, for a million times, stop the pills, the smokes and hooking up with random guys. Enough of these surrogate pleasures. That is not what makes you happy. Do not seek pleasure in things that will destroy you. Look around, open your eyes, the things that will make you happy are just there all along. You're just too weak-hearted to reach for them. Be brave, fight for it no matter how many times you fall down. Go with the flow of the earth, be strong for Natural selection's sake. Also, you mentioned you've been having "romance issues" lately. Well first of all, you're an Alien. They're humans. Its a total cross-breed, and that is just immoral. Unacceptable. Do not feel compromised to leap in the relationship world just because everyone's having one, you conformist. But then again, do as your heart tells you to do. BUT, if you're gonna do so, be careful in choosing. You've had a lot of heartaches for the last few months, the last thing you need is to get your heart broken again by some random suitor you've never really taken interest into before. Because that's what striplings do and the only thing they intend to do. They get you, and then break your fragile heart. The motherfuckers. Again, do not feel compromised to commit, or even just bat an eye back. Be as cold as Winter. Boyfriend can wait, you're engaged to studies and it is the only thing that can fuck you for the next two years. amazing line right there. Even if your suitor is overflowing right now, I knew none of them deserves your love. Remember, your love is the purest, most powerful of all. Only the God, the Earth and few lucky earthlings are worth of receiving it. You found the lucky bastard alright, soon enough he'll be waking up on his senses. Until then, be a lovely lady smut. Lastly, good luck on your pursue of Buddhism. Meditate, follow the eightfold path, the five precepts, and attain enlightenment. For now, practice good will and atonement of the soul. God, Christ, and Buddha is with you. Do not fear, do not succumb to evil. That's all, take care of yourself. And if you ever find yourself preoccupied again by earthly stuffs, punch yourself and read my letters over and over again to remind you of your true agenda on Earth. Hugs and kisses to you Beautiful creature. So long. Don't forget to keep in touch. <3

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Striplings anthology.

My ex-boyfriends, in a shallower sense.

I wrote this why?

  1. I'm bored. =)
  2. I want something to remember my exes by. just in case, i forget about them. :) Yes I'm proud of each of them.
  3. Girlfriends & suitors kept asking about my exes, so why not show them this instead.
  4. Most people, don't know this. A message I'm always trying to convey to my friends, 'you'll never find the right guy/girl as long as you're looking for one'. And as long as you're too lustful too him/her.
  5. I was secretly hoping that these boys would read this, just so they know I cared about them at some point of my life. And that I acknowledge, rather appreciate our short relationship.

1. Roy Vincent - The Singer

He's got everything I was looking for in a guy back then. He sings in a rock band, he skates, he smokes, he hangs out a lot with his friends, he's nice and funny, and he's cute, he's got that sexy scene hair and chased by lot of girls =)

He had an affair, I broke up. (he broke my fragile 16 year-old heart) He apologized and begged me to come back, I accepted him *at first with revenge in my head, which I eventually forgot* We dated again but after two months I fell out of love so I broke up again. It was sad, he tried to get me back several times but I wouldn't give in anymore.
DURATION: Two months.
He's my first kiss.

2. Chas - The Painter


He was just a simple guy, trolling the net, i added, we became very close friends because we seem to connect a lot about loads of stuffs. It was so much fun talking to him, we relate to bunch of things like music, anime, slice-of-life situations, etc that by the end of the day I confessed that I love him and apparently, he, the same. We were so happy all the time, we never even fight. We talk for hours and hours, and not run out of things to say, no awkward silences, and not getting sick of saying I love you over and over again. It was by far, the best relationship I had with a boyfriend.

At some point of my life, I couldn't keep things in my control. Let's just say that I became a fuck-up, addicted to Online games (ironically, He was the one who taught me how to play Cabal. lol). I broke up with him. I thought the feelings I've got for him had worn off. There wasn't really love beneath, just some profound affection. It was sad, I couldnt get used to it for awhile.

Four months.

He looks like Barney Stinson.

3. Hiro - The Chef

We were classmates back then, for one subject. I was crazy about his cool mysterious aura. I started flirting him and he eventually fell. HA! The thing is, I'm mostly attracted to him physically. He's such a sexy sexy guy :)) you know how I'm attracted to fatties. We started becoming friends, and I found out about his sad life, then I saw that he was actually sweet and good person :) And most of all I wanted to screw with him. Haha ;p I wouldn't let him take my virginity though because he's big. You can say I chickened out when I saw it. :)) I'm such a guy sometimes.

Just like how a guy manipulates, you flirt with him, make friends, get his trust, screw with him, recede from the friendship, and leave. Evil Jessa is evil. :)

Two weeks.

oh yes, BIG. you know it. :)

4. Patrick - The Cosplayer
He was Iris' bestfriend. I added him on fb cos he's cute :) I didn't know he was gonna be my next boyfriend though. At first he just kept on commenting my pics, flattering the hell out of me. I knew he was hitting on me, and I'm starting to kinda like him too. We relate to lots of things, he's cute and is absolutely nice :)

To sum it up, too much fighting, jealousy, his lack of trust, our unyeilding pride, long distance and the nonexistent faith in the relationship are some of the reasons. We both gave it up. It was a truce.

Two months.

Mama's boy. :)

5. Revin - The Musician
I like him ever since high school. He was the coolest person in my school (for me) cos he knows the bands I listen to (which is pretty rare during those days), He's in a band (in five band actually), He can play anything (bass, guitar, keyboard, violin, drums). What I'm crazy about him though is his sexy sexy hair. I just want to fuck him for his hair. lol. We became really close friends but he's apparently inlove with a girl so I decided to spill my guts down the drain. I let him know that I'm head over heels with him, just so he decided to forget about this girl. Last May 31, 2010 though, on a friend's house, he started acting "different". He kissed me and.. wants us to start dating. lol, the smile on my face, can't imagine. But I didn't know for sure, if he's serious or just wants to get laid. It scared the hell out of me but I just went with the flow. After all, I've already set my mind that we're just going to be friends forever. I told myself, tommorow its gonna be normal again. We're gonna talk about this, just like how we talked about our exes. But it didn't go like that. He said he was serious. He even put it up on his facebook. I fell inlove even more :/
We were really quite inlove for awhile, but looking back now, it was the biggest "face-palming" memento of my life.
His work cast a doubt on our relationship, you know the typical "wife thinks her hubby is cheating with his workmates, hubby thinks his wife is cheating with random guys). And this stupid Lamb of God concert. He promised he'd go with me, but then he changed his mind and wouldn't go instead. That was just two of the funny reasons. The worst part then is, He broke up with me. He said I wasn't right for him..He likes it better when we were friends..He doesn't think it was love.. and blah blah blah. And I put up with that, without saying anything -cos you can't force someone who doesn't love you anymore to stay. We promised we'll be friends again, but it didn't go that way. It was a little awkward, we can't talk about some stuffs we usually talk about. Anyway, I still care about him and I'm still cool with being friends. It's been months but I'm still dealing with that break up. lol. like, how the fuck did he had the guts to do that to me? and you know whats worst, IT SO TURNED ME ON. for fuck's sake I always get turned on for the wrong reasons. ha, bondage, and guys who likes hurting girls. yesss please. Anyway anyway. I tried receding our friendship, dating other guys, but I always end up remembering him. that bastard. Why do i still care about him? I have to get over him soon. I don't want to be the crazy ex.
DURATION: Three weeks.
He's my Neil Armstrong, if you cath my drift. ;)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Random Rants.

Dearest Diary,

I miss him. We haven't talked for days and I'm getting quite jealous of what's he up to right now, whatever it is. The last thing I need was to get hooked at him once again, I've already fought that over the last two years and now, i keep jumping to my feet whenever my phone rings. God, I took a lot of OCD when you showered them to humankind.

I was just thinking about him earlier, i forgot what i had in my mind though. I think it started when I remember some short conversation with a random dude in facebook, he's name is Dan and he told me about a girl who kept telling him she loves him. It was bothering him, in a sort of way, but he also admitted that she likes the girl. ^___^ it was totally romantic but I don't really get the picture of their situation right now. So I thought, If i have done the same thing to Revin, would he feel the same? would it get us into something more than friends? and then I thought that was a really brave thing to do and I'm very proud of anyone who can do it, I can do it to any guy in fact but not to Revin. It may be called cowardliness but I think that my love could wait forever. Well at least, I already told him that I'm attracted to him and all that and I guess he knows how much I care for him by this time. I still talk to him the same way like I talk to him back then and I can still make him feel like shit sometimes, I do ignore him too. (gyaaah but I just can't last ignoring him for a week). Its just hard to like someone who only looks at you as a friend. =___=

So I hope you get the picture of what I'm saying, I would be really happy too even if we stayed friends forever. Our friendship is that fragile for me that I would shut up about how I feel for him just so he wouldn't skedaddle him away. duh. its awkward when I get all corny like this. Love is soo cheesy.

And oh btw, I also forgotten how to love. I havent done it in a long time, not to God, not to a friend, not to my family, not to bands/music/animals/guys/crushes so basically the thing that I feel for Revin was probably the thing they call infatuation. (But I it might also be love because they say that infatuation only last for months. I've already beaten the record cuz i've been feeling this way for 3 years and I do admire him, and wish him luck and best of everything all the time so i think Its still kinda love) I dont think its Lust though, there's nothing to lust about Revin. lol kidding Rev XD (but of course I really think He's sexy and whatever he does is cool and adorable).

I was wondering what happened, what triggered me to be this cold. Is it because i bumped my head too often? did the number of neurons in my brain severely decreased because of too much use of computer? was it because I'm unloved? or was it because I'm too loved? Or maybe I'm just tired of loving people and not being loved back. whoa but certainly, I knew the love I give esp to God and to my Mama and Papa always comes back. Im probably tired of having a boyfriend too, I think I the 3 I got was enough to break my curiosity. So next time i should just definitely wait (not look) for someone whom I knew I really love. Same goes to friends, Kouhii, Mika, they're my only best friends in the world and Im satisfied enough. If people want to make friends with me then so be it. they could, I will be glad. But I can't promise that I'd give them much attention. mika and kouhii are just the first people in my heart, besides god and mama and papa. =)

You know I feel like sometime I treat God inferiorly, its probably one of the reasons too. my faith is fucked up, so does my relationship with God so it went like a domino, a chain reaction of that paradox. I hope someone could help me because I'm totally helpless right now its annoying because i knew i was just being lazy and coward.


and oh jsyk, he texted me like 5 mins after i posted this! lmao so childish but yea. i had great time talking to him last night =)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Music or the MIsery..

hello :)

been a long time diary.
College wasnt that tough, I could scream that to my profs faces right now
since i am still in freshmen, and its just about the end of the term.
I'vent found myself a real friend.
some people just stick for fun,
for help,
for a company.. but who cares anyway
I already have bestfriends.
All i wanted for is to have honest, unselfish, REAL friends.. but its seems harder to find someone like that than i thought.
doesnt it suck when someone you consider a friend would make up excuses when you needed their help, or tell shits about you at your back?!
those are few things that i kept trying to comprehend lately..

Anyway, my college life is mainly composed of failures at the moment.

Failed quizes.. lol doesnt bother me though, I knew I would Nail it by the end of the day. I know that. MAY DIYOS , ika nga ng boys sa classroom. XD

Failed friendship.. As i've mentioned earlier, its tough life out there you gotta trust your one and only self. And gorsh, it feels ridiculous sticking to people who have terrible attitudes.

And Lastly, failed Love relationships.
im torn between two shitty guy at the moment.

No Im not inlove with both of them.

Im not even inlove with any of them.

well, maybe.. i am.

but things are really going rough between the three of us, tho the guys doesnt kno each other.
hmm, lemme just give you a comparative analysis of them.

The first guy would be Khristian Joy.
I used to call him Joy cause its sounds cute, and he'll smile at you when you call him that. ^^
we werent really close before, I do not have any interest in him too
weeks past since the start of class, and were still not talking to each other, I still dont like him because it seems like he flurts anyone he met.. he seems like a player type even though he's not that attractive. however, i have to admit I find him attractive lately.
we only started talking when he joined us in our group.. we won the first place in the game and got a grade of 1. sweet!!
he asked our number from Iris and texted us, he doesnt appeal to me until that but I had fun hanging out with him.
Then on the days that followed, he insisted on going with us for lunch
Aisha doesnt really want him to go with us, but I thought he was kinda nice so I let him go with us. Still doesnt appeal to me.. he always sticks with us, even in class, he sits beside us.. it was almost annoying. Aisha was teasing me that He has a crush on me thats why he sticks with us but I didnt really thought of it that way.

There was one class in theology where he sat beside me, and kept flurting.. he was writing something on my hand, then the teacher caught us and thought we were holding us.
the motherfucker told the whole class we were having PDA and GOD, it almost drained out all the blood in my face in embarassment. OF COURSE IT WASN'T TRUE.. back then, i still didnt like him. I got pissed at him and told him he flurts too much and its because of him we always get into trouble. I only told him that in texts.. he didnt texted me since that.
He sent gm, that nobody really recieved i guess excpt me :( it says "how sad. akala ko pa naman masaya ka pag kasama mo ako"
I asked him the next day if he was mad.. he said he wasnt. he was colder to me though. :(
I texted him later on and told him im that im sorry, i didnt really mean what i said, i was just annoyed when our classmate was teasing us when we're only friends.. and that he could hang out with us anytime he wants and we could have PDA of course i was just kidding at the last one. XD He said he was happy when he was with us, he kept saying that but i dont unerstand how or why. I dont want to ask stupid pointless questions like that.
I think I started falling inlove with him that night too (secretly).
We hang out all the time since then.. and I stopped looking at other guys too except Brando mi labbs XD (tho brando seems to be getting desperate for attention lately)
I remember everytime I always mention Brando to KJ, he always tell how ugly and untidy he looks. :(
SO fastforward to last week >> I teased him that that he has a crush on meh XD
He said "ou, di mo ba nararamdaman"
i forgot what happened next.. it was ridiculous falling inlove.. but at some point of the conversation, I happened to mention that I had a crush on him too, or inlove with him, idk.
All i want to kno is if I could have him :(
But he doesnt want to. He said he loves me, but doesnt want to get in a committed relationship cause he's afraid he might hurt me or viceversa.
SUCH A LAME EXCUSE but it always gets away when he kiss me.

now he may not be the perfect guy for a few qualities that ticks him like
being VAIN.. so much vanity was embodied in him.. He always talks about himself and only listens to someone for a short time, and then goes out talking about himself again. About his stuffs, his clothes, shoes, his bike, PSP, i-touch, digi cam.. REMEMBER THAT MATERIAL STUFFS APPEAL TO GIRLS (like me) ONLY AS MUCH AS GMA'S FACE. my love for him could not be measured by the number of gadgets or shoes and clothes he has on his closet.
Other than being vain, he is also moody, fickle, sensitive in both ways, cynical and cocky (yes what a pompous person).
But that's not all of him yet, He is THE NICEST GUY I think I've ever met too, second to my dad and my bestie. He always helps people who needed help, i dont care if its for show up as long as he's doing it right.. but it doesnt looks like he's showing up. Like yesterday, it was raining hard, and he helped the old granny in the jeep and in the footbridge.. he even stayed with her in the umbrella. He wasnt kidding when he said to granny he was superman. because he is, for me :)
my heart beats really fast when I remember yesterday. the way he helps people, and the way he kissed me in the rain :)

The second guy wasnt really a lover. OR is he? idk, He just said he has a crush on me.
His name's Kavin. :) He was the guy who asked my number in the library.
I remember when i asked him whats his name, and he said Kavin, and I said Kalvin Klein? LOLZ. We werent classmate, but were both from the same dept., cuz he's taking HRM, he's a freshman too. I dont really know whats up with this guy, whats he up to, He kept asking questions.. its almost like an interview talking to him. But you know what, even tho its scary talking to him sometimes cuz he sounds like a rapist or a stalker (lol kidding)
I find him really nice because he was always there when I needed him. YES, he's there 24/7.
I always talk to him when me and KJ arent at good ends, and when i feel lonely, and he's willing to hang out with me whenever Im alone. he's attractive too, big guy.. sabe nga ni Aisha mamaw daw siya eh haha. I dont remember his face anymore, but he's got a face, I'm telling ya. ^^

so which is which...

with whom should I waste my time now?

To someone who needs me, or to someone whom I need?

Tell me..
Bacause I know both or one of them are WRONG.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

going away to college [my first day sucks]

first day of school and i got kicked out
i knew something wrongs gonna happen,
i just knew it as i walk to the bus station.
i didnt know I was having a slight fever,
im feeling dizzy and quite sick, i thought its just from the lack of sleep cuz I only got to sleep for 30 minutes and day before that i only got to sleep 4 hours.
My temperature got high to 37, not so hot
but too hot on the thermal scanner
the school doctor sent me home as early as i arrive.
it took me 3 hours to travel and i got to stay at school for only 30 minutes.

god, of all the first day bad lucks
this is the least one i want to happen.
i hate it when every newbie are friends, and i only got to join join them
and most of all im scared no one might want to make friends with me cuz they already have one.
and to make it worse, no one would want to make friends with me because they might think I have H1N1. LOL thats crazy, but i find it kinda fun being on a situation where people think you have virus and everyone starts avoiding you. ^^

but in my experience, the newest always gets alot of friends.. because its cool to be late and.. if people dont like their new friends, they'd find another one. LOL, but i wonder if someone's worse than me? lol.

i wish i could go to school tommorow already,
im fucking missing alot.
I'll be rounding up, looking for my classroom, giving my excuse letter and medical certificate to profs.. sigh, its the second day of school, im already enrolled this time.. but I still havent experience college. Im such a loser,
guess its not really meant for me to go to college.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Jose Maria.

i have a friend,

fat.. smelly.. obnoxious.. he looks dirty in any angle.
he's not brilliant. he's not handsome.

but one thing that beats it all was his kindness.

even since our freshman year in high school,
I've already heard much rumor about him being an adopted child.
I found that out that it was true during our junior year, story told by our adviser.
Aside from that, I heard that the only person he could confide in the family was his 'father'.
His father was very famous in the city because he was a judge.
they were quite rich too, they have a bunch of cars and have such a huge house everywhere.
JM became famous to teachers, trycicle drivers, street food owners and so on.
however his father was quite sick and become bedridden sooner.
JM has a lot of 'siblings' too, but all of them are grown ups and is now pursuing their career and their own family.
the only one left to take care of him was his 'mother'.
during fist year, I heard that she was strict. Later on, I found out too that, in my and everyone's perspective.. nobody ever saw him treat Jm as her child.

We never really became that close.
back then when I was a new student, I was avoiding boys, since It was what the teachers in my past school taught us to avoid getting into trouble (a private catholic school for girls). When I first saw him, I thought he was a retarded kid who would try to hurt me if I make him abit mad. He was really a big guy. There's no way I could get up without a broken bone if he slammed me. So the first day of school, he was standing at the door asking everyone if they have a change for P100. I quickly passed through without glancing at him, cold sweat and shivering.

Looking back, I have to be one of the people that I hate. Heartless and judgemental.

I had a tough time overcoming my fear of him.
But during class, I actually found out that he was 'sane' and really nice too.
Even though Im still disgusted to even let my skin touch his because he was really darkened with uhm, accumulated grime.. or 'libag'.
Althroughout the years, group of boys would wrestle him, beat him down, and sometimes the shrewd ones would take his money and/or involve him in their shrewd business and gambles.

During the school's foundation day, I was too inlove with my bestfriend Reyna I only want her to be my partner to our field demo dance (w/c is a very cheesy Macarena) but we were supposed to have opposite sex partners.. so I chose JM without any hesitation for 3 reasons:
~no girl would want to even touch him, much more to dance with him, and I only felt pity. *sigh the world is so cruel before i came.. ne, JM?*
~ he's kind so I could beg him to trade places with reyna during practice ^^
~I thought that If I did, It would change everyone's opinion about him since I was a cool kid *back then all new students who are smart and have many friends are cool* OR I would be even cooler if I stand out with a guy like that.

break. jesus christ someone's playing a sneezy mexican tune down the neighborhood I just had to make a playlist and play it in a 100% volume to cover it up.
moving on..

It was really fun to finally practice with Jm, although I feel like every wrong movement he's gonna make was gonna break my bones plus!! fat people stinks like hell and we're in a total heat that time out on the field, noontime.

but then at that time, I discovered alot of things about Jm. I could tell from everything he does, that he is a thouhtful, down to earth, good-natured fella who has a pure heart, even though the horrid stuffs i witnessed happening to him (his mother, bullies, & girls whose even worse than bullies) was enough to bend down anyone's personality to be crazy mean.

We dont hang out together, but sometimes, we would sit on the same table at the library..
I would be holding a fiction book, he would be holding a cook book. =) He said he loves to cook, he wanted to be a chef someday just so he could bake cakes for himself. ^^
We would have fun conversations from that 20 minutes break, and just have good stories about food, our teachers, our classmates and some bizarre stuffs.

then on our 3rd year, we were chosen to join this contest.. I have no idea whats that contest is supposed to be anymore, but it was about science and some sculpture 2Meters high. It was Jm, Darell, Kaye and me (I just read the da vinci code at that time so i suggested we should make a vetruvian man out of plaster of paris and stuff. It turned out great but the plaster soon came off and the thing collapsed on itself because of the spray paint i guess, it melted the styrofoam inside.) but before that, we went to Jm's house to borrow some tools we'll use to build the skeleton and took some old rotten woods on their 'tambakan'. but the dogs woke up and kept howling and his mother saw us, maybe she thought that we're stealing and yelled at us oh boy I thought I was going to have a heart attack when she asked the maid to unleash the dogs, we really ran out of their house and we even heard her say she was going to file a case on us.

I knew Jm was really embarassed to us, but we kept silent and just joked about it. I want to tell him that its fine, its nothing. more than that, Jm was a already accumulating a fear inside him.. because at that time, his father was already too sick. I was secretly wishing for his father to heal back and gain back his health not fot him but for JM.

Not long after that, during our 4th year.. we heard that Jm's dad has already passed away.
That's whats brings me back to why I wrote this. I was praying last night for my parent's health and wishing that God would let them live longer. And then I wondered, just what does it feels like to have a parent passed away while you're a teenager?(because it seems easier for a kids and adults.) And I remembered and started to think about JM.

From then on, JM changed alot. He wasnt the happy-go-lucky person you'll see walking down the hallway anymore. He really slimmed down alot. He gets annoyed at the slightest thing. And everytime I look at him, even if he's laughing, I could still see the sadness in his eyes. Jm doesn't have much friend since grade school, much more a best friend. Its hard to think about it but I guess he never had someone to confide about his father's loss. And he'll never have a father to confide anymore. Despite that, he made it into graduation. He was still very nice, although i dont hear alot about him anymore since we're not classmates. He was a tough dude, and he would still probably defend his mother, siblings and friends against false judgements. ^^ He has the will of justice, righteousness, & integrity.. if only he would study harder to make it into a lawyer.

ne JM, If I could turn back time and be your bestfriend.. would your sadness atleast be eased?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

French Navy.

heyya! i went to school yesterday and got interviewed, enrolled, and alot of other shiz.
I have to admit i am quite excited, for some reason i missed going to school.
but school wont be the same anymore, i miss high school. D:
anyway, i love my course.
its gonna be quite expensive and demanding but there are so many tall and pretty girls in tourism. sweet! plus they are so nice and independent, i am always amazed to see girls like that and i always idolize em. there are alot of boys too, but who cares. i heard that BSTM is a haven for the most gorgeous boys in the school, like the last time's Mr. Ceu winner was a 3rd year in SNHM. isnt that cool? XD Even tho i dont plan on getting a bf in college, its still nice to interact with attractive males. And there I wish I'd get over my likes for handsome guys hihih. I should get immunized by then. Yes, this may sound really conceited & i might take back these words sooner or later but I really am gonna try my hardest to avoid getting into romantic relationships, specially w/ boys. Oh God Imma bust them off before they even make a move. lol. its gonna be really hard specially if he's got the looks *flabs, long hair, pale, tall* and my type *metal dude, romantic and vampiric* i dont give a shit about perverse guys anymore, I could kick their ass and Im proud to say I can break with anyone who forces me to take away my virginity XD sigh, sometimes I wish i was ugly, mostly i wish was pretty. I just want to have a normal filipina look.
and marry a french navy. lol. i dont really know what type of guy I would like to end up with someday, Im so indecisive but there are two nearest possible types: the first would be a soldier or pilot, anyone thats reallys handsome, buff and manly. XD and the second would be a mature and independent girl, pretty and very kind, somebody who cares for people, animals and nature, at times she is shy, crazy, gets depressed in a small matter, but then she would be a good fighter too, would fight for anything that she loves and righteous. isnt she preferct? ^^ Ive met someone who is lik
e that, problem is that she's straight, and she's my bestfriend. =)
teehee. she's the one on the left. ^^ that was her 18th birthday btw and Im glad Im her VIP. we took that in timezone pic booth yay. i wish our relationship would never change.

There is another girl that I would love to marry, In fact I would marry her more than anyone else on earth. She's also my bestfriend, we've been friends for 10 years but our relationships atm seems like a lil distant since she was busy *too busy* for school. But this time, I would be the one who will be mature and care for her since she was a real spoiled bratt :P You know what these two girls really have so much things in common. Mika & Kouhii are both the goddess otaku, both of them are taking up nursing, and they love Japan *Mika is half-bred japanese/filo* oh well, so much for marrying my besties. I dont want to meet anyone who is like that anymore because for me they are already perfect and nothing should make a better version of them. ^^

anyway, this is completely unrelated but I just learned another Hero!!

check this out man. ^^

Simo Häyhä

Simo Häyhä

Simo Häyhä (December 17, 1905 – April 1, 2002), nicknamed "White Death" (Russian: Белая Смерть, Belaya Smert; Finnish: Valkoinen kuolema; Swedish: den Vita Döden) by the Soviet army, was a Finnish soldier. Using a standard iron-sighted, bolt action rifle in the Winter War, he had the highest recorded number of kills as a sniper in any major war.

Early life, World War II service
Häyhä was born in the municipality of Rautjärvi near the present-day border of Finland and Russia, and started his military service in 1925. Before entering combat, Häyhä was a farmer and a hunter. His farmhouse was reportedly full of trophies for marksmanship. It was during the Winter War (1939–1940), between Finland and the Soviet Union, that he began his duty as a sniper and fought the Red Army.
In temperatures between −20 and −40 degrees Celsius (−4 and −40 degrees Fahrenheit), dressed completely in a white camouflage suit, Häyhä was credited with 505 confirmed kills of Soviet soldiers, and 542 if including the unconfirmed deaths. The unofficial Finnish frontline figure from the battlefield of Kollaa places the number of Häyhä's sniper kills over 800. A daily account of the kills at Kollaa was conducted for the Finnish snipers. Besides his sniper kills, Häyhä was also credited with over two hundred kills with a Suomi KP/-31 submachine gun, thus bringing his credited kills to at least 705. All of Häyhä's kills were accomplished in less than 100 days.
Häyhä used a Finnish variant, M/28, of the Soviet Mosin-Nagant rifle (known as "Pystykorva" rifle, meaning "spitz"), because it suited his small frame (5 ft 3 in/1.60 m). He preferred to use iron sights rather than telescopic sights to present a smaller target (the sniper must raise his head higher when using a telescopic sight), to prevent visibility risks (a telescopic sight's glass can fog up easily), and aid concealment (sunlight glare in telescopic sight lenses can reveal a sniper's position). Another tactic used by Häyhä was to compact the snow in front of him so that the shot wouldn't disturb the snow, thus revealing his position. He also kept snow in his mouth so that when breathing he wouldn't reveal his position.
The Soviets tried several ploys to get rid of him, including counter snipers and artillery strikes. On March 6 1940, Häyhä was shot in the jaw during combat. The bullet tumbled upon impact and left his head. He picked up his rifle and fired a round, killing his attacker. He was picked up by fellow soldiers who said "half his head was missing". He regained consciousness on March 13, the day peace was declared. Shortly after the war, Häyhä was promoted straight from corporal to second lieutenant by Field Marshal Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim. No one else has ever gained rank in such a quick fashion in Finland's military history.

Later life
It took several years for Häyhä to recuperate from his wound. The exploding Soviet bullet had crushed his jaw and blown off his left cheek. Nonetheless, he made a full recovery and became a successful moose hunter and dog breeder after World War II.
When asked in 1998 how he had become such a good shot, he answered, "Practice." When asked if he regretted killing so many people, he has said "I did what I was told to as well as I could." Simo Häyhä spent his last years in a small village called Ruokolahti located in the south-east of Finland near the Russian border.

swweet. He's awesome. too bad he's dead.
rest in peace Simo.

I hope there's a real gun like this, I'll definitely buy that one day. ^^

to my
Vanity Page


01. Im one of the most BORING person I know.

02. I hate humans.
03. I am a total hermit that never goes out the house.

04. I am a very Lazy person.

05. I like being a kid and I do not anticipate growing up, getting a job, getting life. lol.

06. I'm pretty much the outcast of the group. yeah Social Anxiety Disorder.

07. Im also Paranoid, Schyzotypal and and bi-polar so please bear with me.

08. Math is the wicked antagonist to my school life.

09. Sports and I are not very good together.

10. Im a dork at heart. You probably notice that when we talk.

11. I get depressed way too easy.

12. I like dark misty rainy days.

13. Im a loner. Its just something that relaxes me. i couldn't care less if you think its loser thing.

14. I keep useless things for recycling purposes until my mom throws them out.

15. I have an army of pik-nik cans at home.

16. I forget too easily. Short-term Memory Loss D:

17. Seventeen is my favorite number.

18. My thought of afterlife is, Reincarnation.

19. I dont usually enjoy chatting.

20. Gays turn me on. I just wish they like me.

21. Im a total ice cream whore. ^^

22. I have this attraction to crazy reh-tar-ded people.

23. I probably have the carpal tunnel syndrome already.

24. I tend to skin my lips off all the time. lol.

25. I am trying hard to be a Vegan.

26. I dont like the taste of some Japanese food to be honest.

27. I like the taste of Blood however. Haematodispia

28. NEVER trust me with cooking cuz everytime i cook i turn everything into charcoal. lmao.

29. There's something magical between Tim B. and Johnny D. =)

30. Avenged Sevenfold is the best kickass band ever.

31. Im accused to be vicious and vain solely because of too much staring at the mirror.xP

32. But im not the selfish type of vain. Im probably gonna die saving someone's life someday.

33. I am indecisive. i took hours to decide which one to buy.

34. Being friends with me means honesty and that you'll receive a real lot of frankness and it could be a bit bitchy but trust me its for your good. =)

35. I am *very sorry* for being a total cheapskate.

36. I always try to make people happy but I never seem to help and only makes things worse instead.

37. Im a horrible explainer.

38. I am too lazy to even eat so I only eat twice a day.

39. Our House is a zoo, mental hospital and hunted house. =)

40. I like hopeless romantic people alot.

41. I wear 275 graded lens.

42. Everyone thinks I don't care but I do.. Im just good at showing like I don't.

43. I have tons of books at home that i forgot to return to someone. LOL XD

44. Im only unfriendly because Im afraid.

45. I like quiet people who always have little things to say and stutter it.

47. I am a fan of Yaoi (gay love stories)

48. Everyone thinks im a vampire.

49. Ask them why.

50.) And Lastly, YOU MUST RATE AND TALK TO ME cause when the World is Mine, and i found out that you been to my profile and downrated me, i will give you a long and painful death. =))

You probably came up right now to the conclusion that you wasted your time reading this. ^^ and by the way,
this is my vanity page so if u have a problem with what I'm saying you can talk into this thing right here here.


Blog Archives.