Thursday, May 28, 2009

Jose Maria.

i have a friend,

fat.. smelly.. obnoxious.. he looks dirty in any angle.
he's not brilliant. he's not handsome.

but one thing that beats it all was his kindness.

even since our freshman year in high school,
I've already heard much rumor about him being an adopted child.
I found that out that it was true during our junior year, story told by our adviser.
Aside from that, I heard that the only person he could confide in the family was his 'father'.
His father was very famous in the city because he was a judge.
they were quite rich too, they have a bunch of cars and have such a huge house everywhere.
JM became famous to teachers, trycicle drivers, street food owners and so on.
however his father was quite sick and become bedridden sooner.
JM has a lot of 'siblings' too, but all of them are grown ups and is now pursuing their career and their own family.
the only one left to take care of him was his 'mother'.
during fist year, I heard that she was strict. Later on, I found out too that, in my and everyone's perspective.. nobody ever saw him treat Jm as her child.

We never really became that close.
back then when I was a new student, I was avoiding boys, since It was what the teachers in my past school taught us to avoid getting into trouble (a private catholic school for girls). When I first saw him, I thought he was a retarded kid who would try to hurt me if I make him abit mad. He was really a big guy. There's no way I could get up without a broken bone if he slammed me. So the first day of school, he was standing at the door asking everyone if they have a change for P100. I quickly passed through without glancing at him, cold sweat and shivering.

Looking back, I have to be one of the people that I hate. Heartless and judgemental.

I had a tough time overcoming my fear of him.
But during class, I actually found out that he was 'sane' and really nice too.
Even though Im still disgusted to even let my skin touch his because he was really darkened with uhm, accumulated grime.. or 'libag'.
Althroughout the years, group of boys would wrestle him, beat him down, and sometimes the shrewd ones would take his money and/or involve him in their shrewd business and gambles.

During the school's foundation day, I was too inlove with my bestfriend Reyna I only want her to be my partner to our field demo dance (w/c is a very cheesy Macarena) but we were supposed to have opposite sex partners.. so I chose JM without any hesitation for 3 reasons:
~no girl would want to even touch him, much more to dance with him, and I only felt pity. *sigh the world is so cruel before i came.. ne, JM?*
~ he's kind so I could beg him to trade places with reyna during practice ^^
~I thought that If I did, It would change everyone's opinion about him since I was a cool kid *back then all new students who are smart and have many friends are cool* OR I would be even cooler if I stand out with a guy like that.

break. jesus christ someone's playing a sneezy mexican tune down the neighborhood I just had to make a playlist and play it in a 100% volume to cover it up.
moving on..

It was really fun to finally practice with Jm, although I feel like every wrong movement he's gonna make was gonna break my bones plus!! fat people stinks like hell and we're in a total heat that time out on the field, noontime.

but then at that time, I discovered alot of things about Jm. I could tell from everything he does, that he is a thouhtful, down to earth, good-natured fella who has a pure heart, even though the horrid stuffs i witnessed happening to him (his mother, bullies, & girls whose even worse than bullies) was enough to bend down anyone's personality to be crazy mean.

We dont hang out together, but sometimes, we would sit on the same table at the library..
I would be holding a fiction book, he would be holding a cook book. =) He said he loves to cook, he wanted to be a chef someday just so he could bake cakes for himself. ^^
We would have fun conversations from that 20 minutes break, and just have good stories about food, our teachers, our classmates and some bizarre stuffs.

then on our 3rd year, we were chosen to join this contest.. I have no idea whats that contest is supposed to be anymore, but it was about science and some sculpture 2Meters high. It was Jm, Darell, Kaye and me (I just read the da vinci code at that time so i suggested we should make a vetruvian man out of plaster of paris and stuff. It turned out great but the plaster soon came off and the thing collapsed on itself because of the spray paint i guess, it melted the styrofoam inside.) but before that, we went to Jm's house to borrow some tools we'll use to build the skeleton and took some old rotten woods on their 'tambakan'. but the dogs woke up and kept howling and his mother saw us, maybe she thought that we're stealing and yelled at us oh boy I thought I was going to have a heart attack when she asked the maid to unleash the dogs, we really ran out of their house and we even heard her say she was going to file a case on us.

I knew Jm was really embarassed to us, but we kept silent and just joked about it. I want to tell him that its fine, its nothing. more than that, Jm was a already accumulating a fear inside him.. because at that time, his father was already too sick. I was secretly wishing for his father to heal back and gain back his health not fot him but for JM.

Not long after that, during our 4th year.. we heard that Jm's dad has already passed away.
That's whats brings me back to why I wrote this. I was praying last night for my parent's health and wishing that God would let them live longer. And then I wondered, just what does it feels like to have a parent passed away while you're a teenager?(because it seems easier for a kids and adults.) And I remembered and started to think about JM.

From then on, JM changed alot. He wasnt the happy-go-lucky person you'll see walking down the hallway anymore. He really slimmed down alot. He gets annoyed at the slightest thing. And everytime I look at him, even if he's laughing, I could still see the sadness in his eyes. Jm doesn't have much friend since grade school, much more a best friend. Its hard to think about it but I guess he never had someone to confide about his father's loss. And he'll never have a father to confide anymore. Despite that, he made it into graduation. He was still very nice, although i dont hear alot about him anymore since we're not classmates. He was a tough dude, and he would still probably defend his mother, siblings and friends against false judgements. ^^ He has the will of justice, righteousness, & integrity.. if only he would study harder to make it into a lawyer.

ne JM, If I could turn back time and be your bestfriend.. would your sadness atleast be eased?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

French Navy.

heyya! i went to school yesterday and got interviewed, enrolled, and alot of other shiz.
I have to admit i am quite excited, for some reason i missed going to school.
but school wont be the same anymore, i miss high school. D:
anyway, i love my course.
its gonna be quite expensive and demanding but there are so many tall and pretty girls in tourism. sweet! plus they are so nice and independent, i am always amazed to see girls like that and i always idolize em. there are alot of boys too, but who cares. i heard that BSTM is a haven for the most gorgeous boys in the school, like the last time's Mr. Ceu winner was a 3rd year in SNHM. isnt that cool? XD Even tho i dont plan on getting a bf in college, its still nice to interact with attractive males. And there I wish I'd get over my likes for handsome guys hihih. I should get immunized by then. Yes, this may sound really conceited & i might take back these words sooner or later but I really am gonna try my hardest to avoid getting into romantic relationships, specially w/ boys. Oh God Imma bust them off before they even make a move. lol. its gonna be really hard specially if he's got the looks *flabs, long hair, pale, tall* and my type *metal dude, romantic and vampiric* i dont give a shit about perverse guys anymore, I could kick their ass and Im proud to say I can break with anyone who forces me to take away my virginity XD sigh, sometimes I wish i was ugly, mostly i wish was pretty. I just want to have a normal filipina look.
and marry a french navy. lol. i dont really know what type of guy I would like to end up with someday, Im so indecisive but there are two nearest possible types: the first would be a soldier or pilot, anyone thats reallys handsome, buff and manly. XD and the second would be a mature and independent girl, pretty and very kind, somebody who cares for people, animals and nature, at times she is shy, crazy, gets depressed in a small matter, but then she would be a good fighter too, would fight for anything that she loves and righteous. isnt she preferct? ^^ Ive met someone who is lik
e that, problem is that she's straight, and she's my bestfriend. =)
teehee. she's the one on the left. ^^ that was her 18th birthday btw and Im glad Im her VIP. we took that in timezone pic booth yay. i wish our relationship would never change.

There is another girl that I would love to marry, In fact I would marry her more than anyone else on earth. She's also my bestfriend, we've been friends for 10 years but our relationships atm seems like a lil distant since she was busy *too busy* for school. But this time, I would be the one who will be mature and care for her since she was a real spoiled bratt :P You know what these two girls really have so much things in common. Mika & Kouhii are both the goddess otaku, both of them are taking up nursing, and they love Japan *Mika is half-bred japanese/filo* oh well, so much for marrying my besties. I dont want to meet anyone who is like that anymore because for me they are already perfect and nothing should make a better version of them. ^^

anyway, this is completely unrelated but I just learned another Hero!!

check this out man. ^^

Simo Häyhä

Simo Häyhä

Simo Häyhä (December 17, 1905 – April 1, 2002), nicknamed "White Death" (Russian: Белая Смерть, Belaya Smert; Finnish: Valkoinen kuolema; Swedish: den Vita Döden) by the Soviet army, was a Finnish soldier. Using a standard iron-sighted, bolt action rifle in the Winter War, he had the highest recorded number of kills as a sniper in any major war.

Early life, World War II service
Häyhä was born in the municipality of Rautjärvi near the present-day border of Finland and Russia, and started his military service in 1925. Before entering combat, Häyhä was a farmer and a hunter. His farmhouse was reportedly full of trophies for marksmanship. It was during the Winter War (1939–1940), between Finland and the Soviet Union, that he began his duty as a sniper and fought the Red Army.
In temperatures between −20 and −40 degrees Celsius (−4 and −40 degrees Fahrenheit), dressed completely in a white camouflage suit, Häyhä was credited with 505 confirmed kills of Soviet soldiers, and 542 if including the unconfirmed deaths. The unofficial Finnish frontline figure from the battlefield of Kollaa places the number of Häyhä's sniper kills over 800. A daily account of the kills at Kollaa was conducted for the Finnish snipers. Besides his sniper kills, Häyhä was also credited with over two hundred kills with a Suomi KP/-31 submachine gun, thus bringing his credited kills to at least 705. All of Häyhä's kills were accomplished in less than 100 days.
Häyhä used a Finnish variant, M/28, of the Soviet Mosin-Nagant rifle (known as "Pystykorva" rifle, meaning "spitz"), because it suited his small frame (5 ft 3 in/1.60 m). He preferred to use iron sights rather than telescopic sights to present a smaller target (the sniper must raise his head higher when using a telescopic sight), to prevent visibility risks (a telescopic sight's glass can fog up easily), and aid concealment (sunlight glare in telescopic sight lenses can reveal a sniper's position). Another tactic used by Häyhä was to compact the snow in front of him so that the shot wouldn't disturb the snow, thus revealing his position. He also kept snow in his mouth so that when breathing he wouldn't reveal his position.
The Soviets tried several ploys to get rid of him, including counter snipers and artillery strikes. On March 6 1940, Häyhä was shot in the jaw during combat. The bullet tumbled upon impact and left his head. He picked up his rifle and fired a round, killing his attacker. He was picked up by fellow soldiers who said "half his head was missing". He regained consciousness on March 13, the day peace was declared. Shortly after the war, Häyhä was promoted straight from corporal to second lieutenant by Field Marshal Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim. No one else has ever gained rank in such a quick fashion in Finland's military history.

Later life
It took several years for Häyhä to recuperate from his wound. The exploding Soviet bullet had crushed his jaw and blown off his left cheek. Nonetheless, he made a full recovery and became a successful moose hunter and dog breeder after World War II.
When asked in 1998 how he had become such a good shot, he answered, "Practice." When asked if he regretted killing so many people, he has said "I did what I was told to as well as I could." Simo Häyhä spent his last years in a small village called Ruokolahti located in the south-east of Finland near the Russian border.

swweet. He's awesome. too bad he's dead.
rest in peace Simo.

I hope there's a real gun like this, I'll definitely buy that one day. ^^

Monday, May 18, 2009


dear oblivion,

I am hopelessly drawn for sad songs atm. i guess I'm just a bit "down and out" i don't want to use the word depressed anymore. btw I'm really hungry. there's food in the kitchen but I'd rather starve myself than think of the ever growing fats on my body. I like being skinny. No, I want to be skinny for someone.
I am such an oblivion.

Its all Ai Yazawa's fault.
Yes, blame it on that tragic writer and her fuckin sad stories.
God, I really idolize her that's probably one of the reason I'm even more depressed, her works make me feel so inferior ^.^

but I understand, she's 40+ im 17, she's a pro Imma noobie, She has Manga Studio I only use my hands. I don't even have a photoshop, human model, manga papers, or even a scanner haha poor bish. Sigh. Neh Ai-sama, can i be your apprentice? I want you to be my sensei. *sigh sigh. you are amazing. I hope I could commercialize my manga too one day. just when is that, I've no idea.

ugh imma make some tea hold on a minute.

soo where was I, oh my manga. I haven't told you about my manga yet?
my manga's main character is named Danielle Ville. A 17 year old girl on her last year of high school whose really boyish, punk, and mature and childish at the same time. I only borrowed the name from my unfinished novel (again). She's definitely not the life of party, she's a quiet short-spoken gal (unless drunk) but people find her very interesting and fun to talk to. Must be because she talks very seldom so they tend to get quite eager to listen to her.

And then the second main character is named Vesperus. :) I really love that name its ingeneous how I came up with it lol. It means The Evening Star. He is a 500 year old still very handsome vampire who is stuck within his 24 year old body. The other characters are (uhm I dont really want to say cuz its from my real life, let's just name him Manwhore. so Ville was in love with Manwhore, they're classmate, bandmate and very close friend. they are secretly inlove with each other, but Manwhore has other gf) Ville feels really stupid and at a lost w/ what to do, she's hopelessly inlove with him (blinded). Manwhore is like the coolest guy in class everything about him is cool. He plays bass, drums, keyboard, and violin.. so greedy :D and he's also stinking rich. but Manwhore isnt just a manwhore, he's a big perv, and does drugs occasionally.

The story starts with Ville's cycle of normal life. She walks home to their band practice after school, eat snack, feed the pets, lie on her bed, stare at the ceiling, think about her love, go to shower, have dinner with her parents *her parents are jolly redneck peepz)
and go straight to bed not doing her homeworks. But then in the middle of her boring blue life, hmm Vesperus appears to her room like a thief lol and Ville walks out from the bathroom and everything goes wild and then Vesperus said he was her cousin (they really were *back Romania year 1720* and he was there to inform Ville that she was prophecied to defeat this most evil antagonist vampire who also killed her parents and tried Ville to but he failed and for some reason she got preserved for hundreds of years and somehow some people found her and adopted her) Ville find it hard to beleive all that but Vesperus showed him everything she needed to beleive. But the thing is, Vesperus wanted to marry her XD incest runs in the family long time ago anyway so nobody really cares. He wants to marry her so he could uhm, 'taint' her blood and puor her some power she needed to survive and be able to defend herself from that evil antagonist *i've no idea yet what to name him*. then later, Ville would eventually fell inlove with him after a bunch of things Vesperus did to win her heart which includes living around her place, going to work as a teacher on her school, and downrating Manwhore. Well he's not really that bad, its just Ville is really blinded by his coolness and gorgeousness. After falling for Vesperus, they immediately married and fled to Romania back to their castle, then there would be a short mature scene *the honeymoon* (w/c im really anticipating too) lol. AND THEN THE WAR BEGINS.

Its gonna be pretty chaotic on the next chapter but before that, Ville will have some powers testing, i.e., teleportation, which she used to sneak into her crush's house (avenged sevenfold's zacky vengeance -i figured seeing rev wouldnt be that romantic cuz he's such a pervy hihih^^).

At that time Vesperus was on his quest to find the other Jyhad players. It was his assignment given by the elders since he was the Black Hand Master afterall, so he fetch Rowan Velya from UK, Sonia Blue from Russia and what do you know Zacky Baker from the US (he was a prince in refuge, a progeny of the Gangrel bloodline leader in German).

and so the Jyhad (a blood hunt called by the elders, where vampires are called to kill a certain powerful vampire whose causing trouble and that Vampire right now is the evil antagonist i kept mentioning earlier) starts shortly after the the 5 warriors had been completed. further stories will be chaotic and idk yet if i should end it after winning the blood hunt. Im gonna expand it and put more details of course, Im going to fix the drawing in photoshop after scanning and submit it to some publisher *whom i can already foresee, would dump my story in the nearest bin or paper shredder and tell me how boring and useless my work is* LOL.

anyway, I am really gay telling all this when you could be copying this and making your own version. ugh I hate copycats. ALL YE COPEYCATS MUST BURN IN HELL. I like the story, and i would kill anyone who will mimic it, like really, i will flay their skin alive while they were staked and seated in a small mortuary fire and mutilate their body to millions od pieces. and feed it to a snake. =)

so yeah, there ya go. im off.
Imma watch Nodame Cantabile live action. see ya :P

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Chessboard Killer : Alexander Pichushkin

Alexander Yuryevich Pichushkin born 9 April 1974 in Mytishchi, Moscow Oblast, also known as the "Bitsa Maniac" and the "Chessboard Killer", is a Russian serial killer. He is believed to have killed at least 48 people and up to 61–63 people in southwest Moscow's Bitsa Park, where several of the victims' bodies were found.


Pichushkin committed his first murder as a student in 1992 and stepped up his campaign in 2001. Russian media have speculated that Pichushkin may have been motivated by a macabre competition with Russia's most notorious serial killer, Andrei Chikatilo, who was convicted in 1992 of killing 52 children and young women in 12 years. Pichushkin has said his aim was to kill 64 people, the number of squares on a chessboard. He later recanted this statement, saying that he would have continued killing indefinitely if he had not been stopped. Pichushkin primarily targeted elderly homeless men by luring them with vodka. After drinking with them, he would kill them, hitting them on the head with a hammer. He then stuck vodka bottles in their skulls to ensure that they did not survive. He also targeted women, both young and old. He would always attack from behind to avoid spilling blood on his clothes. He claimed that while killing people he felt like God as he decided whether his victims should live or die. "For me, life without killing is like life without food for you" he once said. "I felt like the father of all these people, since it was I who opened the door for them to another world". Experts at the Serbsky Institute, Russia's main psychiatric clinic, have found Pichushkin irrecuperable.


this was totally wrong. I mean, I knew he only said that to get attention BECAUSE there is this survivor's video tape claiming he didn't kill all them 63 people. And everyone knows he's an attention whore, he wanted people to know he killed all of that 63, He makes sure all the acknowledgement goes to him. haha that's really childish, he even said he killed 11 more people (which he really didn't) just so the total count would increase. lmao he's cute.

Trial and imprisonment

He was arrested on 15 June 2006, and convicted on 24 October 2007 of 48 (of 49) murders and three attempted murders. He asked a Russian court to add an additional 11 victims to his body count, bringing his claimed death toll to 60 and 3 surviving victims. During the trial, he was housed in a glass cage. It took Judge Vladimir Usov an hour to read the verdict: life in prison with the first 15 years to be spent in solitary confinement. Capital punishment in Russia has been abolished in practice due to a moratorium established in 1996.


Here is the Documentary Video about Alexander Pichushkin:

I might be crazy and retarted as well but i thought he was really cool.
He was the coolest serial killer I've ever seen. I want to make a book about him someday.
I'd want to go interview him!!! omg I'd really want to meet him and let him know that I appreciate his works, although its quite brutal and unreasonable. Im so glad they didnt put him on death row. I might someday, bail him or help him escape prison so he could help me murder people too. ^^ BUT WE'D ONLY KILL VERY BAD PEOPLE. yunno, the ones causing corruptions and poverty for alot of families in my country, enjoying their mansions and ever growing bank accounts coming from taxpayers, while some are dying of hunger and unemployment or convicted for stealing money from groceries just so they could feed their family. sigh.
I really like this guy but he was all in the wrong reason. I understand he was brain damaged alright. I think I am brain damaged too, seriously... the way I think is also quite different from what other people think. =( It was sad but Im still in contact with my sanity, I'd never kill someone out of sudden rage or just for fun. He looks cute too when he was still abit young
here, i took screenshots

see? XD haha the last one was when he was threatening that little censored girl that he'd throw her in the window (from the tenth floor). ooh poor girl =( but atleast he doesnt rape the girls he kill yunno, i think that was really nice of him too. ahaha. XD what a bad person, oh the poor old men that he killed. I really hope he already changed for all these years that he's been imprisoned.
Its really weird too that all o'these killings was triggered by his beloved dog who died(so that's whats weird now huh). I understand it as well, that he is brain damaged, father left 'em when he was a baby, mother doesn't much care about his state, he's got no friends and to make it worse he's always been bullied by kids his age thinking he's retarted (cuz of that school he was in, his mother forced him to go because he became mentally ill after the accident from the swing) and the only person whose ever been nice to him, his beloved granpa died when he was only 14, so all in all, that was a really tragic life to live. If they were only more people who gave him love and support (not support to kill of course), I suppose he would'nt be able do that. >.<

Saturday, May 9, 2009

fucken shit.

i cant access vf! im soo pissed right now. just when i am just starting to enjoy it again.. *cuz a year ago i met alot of perverts who tainted me and all that gives me nightmares* ..and now, here comes typhoon ruining my internet connection ON THE SUMMER SEASON. gawd just what the hell is wrong with the weather??! oh yah right, global warming >> climate change. perfect. 10 years from now we're all gonna freeze our arses cuz there's gonna be some snow too. i knew it, i just knew that im gonna have to 'exterminate' a bunch of people who doesnt care at all about earth. like this fukcn girl in school, she just throws her trash everywhere. somebody has to bitchslap those kinds of people when they do it. gaah i miss my cults.. i miss MAMP the most. =/

btw, i had a dream last night thats kind of blurry and i cant explain it even to myself.
but one things sure there's MARK WAHLBERG on my dream!! and we're cool friends oooh!
that man is really hot! he's buff and sexy and very manly.. really badass.
i think its the best dream of the month.. so far. =)

look there he is when he was still abit younger ^^ ... *nosebleeds at his hawtness*

to my
Vanity Page


01. Im one of the most BORING person I know.

02. I hate humans.
03. I am a total hermit that never goes out the house.

04. I am a very Lazy person.

05. I like being a kid and I do not anticipate growing up, getting a job, getting life. lol.

06. I'm pretty much the outcast of the group. yeah Social Anxiety Disorder.

07. Im also Paranoid, Schyzotypal and and bi-polar so please bear with me.

08. Math is the wicked antagonist to my school life.

09. Sports and I are not very good together.

10. Im a dork at heart. You probably notice that when we talk.

11. I get depressed way too easy.

12. I like dark misty rainy days.

13. Im a loner. Its just something that relaxes me. i couldn't care less if you think its loser thing.

14. I keep useless things for recycling purposes until my mom throws them out.

15. I have an army of pik-nik cans at home.

16. I forget too easily. Short-term Memory Loss D:

17. Seventeen is my favorite number.

18. My thought of afterlife is, Reincarnation.

19. I dont usually enjoy chatting.

20. Gays turn me on. I just wish they like me.

21. Im a total ice cream whore. ^^

22. I have this attraction to crazy reh-tar-ded people.

23. I probably have the carpal tunnel syndrome already.

24. I tend to skin my lips off all the time. lol.

25. I am trying hard to be a Vegan.

26. I dont like the taste of some Japanese food to be honest.

27. I like the taste of Blood however. Haematodispia

28. NEVER trust me with cooking cuz everytime i cook i turn everything into charcoal. lmao.

29. There's something magical between Tim B. and Johnny D. =)

30. Avenged Sevenfold is the best kickass band ever.

31. Im accused to be vicious and vain solely because of too much staring at the mirror.xP

32. But im not the selfish type of vain. Im probably gonna die saving someone's life someday.

33. I am indecisive. i took hours to decide which one to buy.

34. Being friends with me means honesty and that you'll receive a real lot of frankness and it could be a bit bitchy but trust me its for your good. =)

35. I am *very sorry* for being a total cheapskate.

36. I always try to make people happy but I never seem to help and only makes things worse instead.

37. Im a horrible explainer.

38. I am too lazy to even eat so I only eat twice a day.

39. Our House is a zoo, mental hospital and hunted house. =)

40. I like hopeless romantic people alot.

41. I wear 275 graded lens.

42. Everyone thinks I don't care but I do.. Im just good at showing like I don't.

43. I have tons of books at home that i forgot to return to someone. LOL XD

44. Im only unfriendly because Im afraid.

45. I like quiet people who always have little things to say and stutter it.

47. I am a fan of Yaoi (gay love stories)

48. Everyone thinks im a vampire.

49. Ask them why.

50.) And Lastly, YOU MUST RATE AND TALK TO ME cause when the World is Mine, and i found out that you been to my profile and downrated me, i will give you a long and painful death. =))

You probably came up right now to the conclusion that you wasted your time reading this. ^^ and by the way,
this is my vanity page so if u have a problem with what I'm saying you can talk into this thing right here here.


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