Saturday, February 28, 2009


i havent slept for 3 days and two nights. idk whats happening to me. I have terrible cold right now.. my eyes are so weary and i had a fuckin headache my head was like being split in half. I really really cant sleep even tho my eyes are so tired and my head is getting heavy. I wannaaaaaaaa sleeeeeeeppp nooooowwwww!!!!! plz im starting to get scared but i dont want to take any medication or pills. *sigh*. yea just thought i'd let you know. oh well sia.

Friday, February 27, 2009


Dear Diary,

I wanted to call you smth else cause everybody's using dear diary more frequently.

Dear Oblivion,

haha thats better. We're in total state of oblivion and that sucks. I haven't drink or smoke for a long time but thats ok I just.. I really need to get a shot of drugs today. I dont want to go online anymore but for some reason I keep coming back. what reason. no reason. After watching Yes Man, (very funny movie) I'm starting to challenge myself as well. Never say NO to life. I wanted to see, experience and get fucked by the things that I've been missing because of Internet. auhh *rubs eyes* fck the net. I just got my eyes checked and there it goes 400. last time was 300. last time was 200. the first time was 175. I dont want it to get worse and have no more vision at all later on. Im just going to stop usin my eyes for a while. Ha! thats like ridiculous. I stink right now btw. I havent took shower for 2 days. 3 days alright. But I stink in a good way, I love the smell of it. My starvation plan has worked. The sleep deprivation didnt. I always fall asleep between 6am to 3pm. loser.

I hanged out with a few friends and my best friend last 25th. I missed them. I'll never have another bestfriend like Mika. <3

I say, I have been sucked into St.Jimmy's world too much lately.
He's dead now but his spirit was alive in me.
His diary is my new Bible.

The almost demonic alter-ego of Green Day's Jesus of Suburbia, St. Jimmy is the schizophrenic patron saint of Chaos and the Underground. He was born with a pistol in his right hand and a syringe in his left. His wings are the blood and carnage of the urban jungle. His occupation is drug dealer. His goal is anarchy. He is a being too wild and dangerous to die at the hands of anyone except himself. St. Jimmy is the Angel of Destruction. And he's comfortable with that.

btw, friendster messaged me saying they'll suspend my acct. and i told them, go to hell maan. hahaha no not really. I just asked them why and what I could do. I didnt fuckin do anything anyway.

I'll send you pics next next day. I dont know when. Tell my friends im going to a fucking good long sleep. sleepyhead.

I love Jason and jamie. <3

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Last Will and Testament

I, The Reverend Silent ANgel of Spooner St. Pasig City Philippines and a student of San Beda College, being of sound and disposing mind, do hereby make public declare to this be my last will and testament.

*Any refusal of the said article automatically connotes for my bed room storage except for the rats, they'll be either put down or abandon them on the sewerage if no one chose to foster them.

  • My Classic Clothing shall be handed to my mother, Mrs. Bitch.

  • My eye glasses shall be handed to my father, Mr. Edgar Allan Poe.

  • My antique bracelets and earrings must be buried along with my body. I hereby demand and remind my parents to please do not cremate me. I am looking forward for the mad scientists out there's formula for reliving zombies. Thank you.

  • I request my lawyer (in witness of my trusted best friends Kouhii & Mika), to seal all my Identification Cards and certificates in a safety deposit bank. Please include my diaries, notebooks, computer files (be transferred into a hard disk), accounts and passwords in. Nobody shall be given a copy of the pin code and whoever unauthorized person tries to claim it, must go under many bloodthirsty interrogations. Anyone who tries to venture with the code and fails means incineration of the whole storage.

  • My other clothes shall be given to other relatives who doesn't have enough clothes nor money to buy.

  • My contemporary CD's, band posters, naruto paraphernalia, shall be divided to Kreish, Paul and Jm.

  • I want Mika to keep my Cellphone, purse, Planners and all the things I carry with me everyday.

  • I want that hello kitty lampshade be given to Kouhii as a thanksgiving.

  • Jamie and Jason shall be handed to to Kouhii for her to take care of.

  • a pair of underwear for my friend Jm. I dont why the hell he wants that though.

  • St. Jimmy's Diary shall be given back to Revin.

  • My guitar Shall be also be given to Revin as a thanksgiving.

  • All my costumized Avenged Sevenfold Death Bat impedimenta i.e. shoes and hanky, shall be handed down to Kreish from Singapore.

  • My books shall be donated to Pasig Library or Philippine National Museum.

  • The Camera goes to My Mother.

  • My computer shall be given to my niece, Whatsername.

  • Some pictures shall be divided to Jacqy, Kaye and Beng.

  • My Sketch Pads shall be divided to Apol and Ludwig.

  • My high Socks collection shall be given to Emily. She'll like that.My mom would probably just burn them or make a rag out of it and i dont want that.

In Witness thereof, I have there to set my head and seat this 17th day of February 2009. Signed, sealed, published and declared to be the my last will and testament by me in the presence and request of each other have here unto subscribe our name as witness:

1.) Atty. Ritalin

2.) Bitch

3.) Mary Jane

Sunday, February 22, 2009

DIscovery Channel's Machine's of Malice

The Great Wheel.

The Brazen Bull

The Wicker Man

The Guillotine

The Iron Maiden

The Pendulum

The Rack

The Italian Rack

The Electrc Chair

The Long Drop

The Skull Crusher

The Neck Screw on Garote


The Firing Squad

Friday, February 20, 2009

chemical change update.

omg he deleted me on his friendster. i couldnt remember deleting him there so i guess he did it himself.. what an asshole. well, i added him again and if he didnt accept it thats just wonderful. xP my girlfriend said boys do that when they know girls are falling for them cuz they hate commitments. haha douchebag now he's giving me reasons to think he's pathetic and get turned off at him and got over him fast.^^ yay.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the chemical change.

Its 2:50 am and I couldnt sleep. :( God the summer heat is back. I just watched The Hitcher from HBO. Good God! Sean Bean reminded me of Janjan again. That awful bastard's been haunting me for weeks now. I fuckin dont know what to do to him and nobody has ever given me any helpful advice. I've deleted him from my contacts, were not even talking for like a month now and yet he's still there creepy crawling in my thoughts. :s I dont know why I'm still thinking of him after he dumped me. Big time.

yeah, after we dated (1st time), I fell in love with him & told him about it and he just shrugged and laughed. I've no idea what I did wrong. Oh wait, is it because I was late for like 2 hours? that should be it you know. Its more bearable than being turned-off at or finding another girl to flirt with. fuckin bastard. Thats so stupid of me.. "Hey, you know I think I just fell in love with you." -what the fuck was I thinking? Oh yes, that he'd say the same thing. But no he didnt. he just fuckin laughed about it and said, "oh what do you know? haha that was shocking." smth like that. He's a dead man now. At least to me. I never talked talked to him after that.. well after I gave him a sign w/ love you on it. my God.. I feel completely humiliated. What a shame Rev, where's your infinite pride now huh? Its all you have and you let it go. And you Love! go to hell! come back when you make up your mind. And you cupid! you little brat.. next time you shoot your fuckn arrows wear glasses. He's not even handsome.. not even close to the dream guy. He's way to far. He's ugly. The only thing attractive to him is that He's fat, kinda long haired and a bassist. Alright he's cute. He's really like Sean Bean.. like a douchebag. God I dont know what kind of potion did he put on me.

Its Amazing how things change so fast you know. It seems like yesterday there's this totally annoying guy whom I've detested so much. I'd always change my status busy or just invisible to avoid talking to him or any other guy. But he just kept saying sweet things!!! i assume its was just a flurting msg he leaves at every girl he meet and that really beats his record. DOUCHEBAG. But damn guys are always flirting. And then I finally said I wasnt in to boys (Bi) and then he asked 'are you a lesbian?' and then i said 'no not. just bi.' And I thought that he understand that but he asked me out on a date.. he asked me all the time to go to gigs but I couldnt go I even felt sorry cause he kept missing all his favorite band cause of me. And so I went on this date to mall cause I also have to buy smth. I went. I was so fuckin late hahaha about 2 hrs and he's waiting there for like 4hrs since his class got out early wasnt my fault though. My mom asked me to cook first before leaving. part of my job. But I could tell he's totally pissed when I showed up. And then he said he already bought tickets for this RR9 gig which he's been planning to go long time ago. He said he bought one for me and I said I couldnt go. I never told him I would go anyway. Maan, that completely beat him out I bet. OMG i was so sorry. But he could bring someone else there right? I dont care if its another girl rr9 isnt for me.. I dont even know the bands playing there.

Moving on.. I couldnt still move on from him. I bet he does. He's got tons of others to go out with. hmm :( And now I think Im obcessed with him. Its been weeks now but when I remember him (w/c happens all the time) my heart beasts so fast and have butterflies and bats on my tummy. haha bats. death bat. xD

I dont know what to do.. I want to leave him message later on his friendster but Im shyyyyy. I want to take it out this obcession already. I dont think I could wait for four months to find out if this is love or infucktuation. huhu he really got me all depressed. ok. aiight Im gonna do it. =) wish me luck pleaase, God. =)

talk to you later. bye bye.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentines Survey

NAME: Jessa

AGE: 17

SEX: female


Are you in love with anyone?

if yes, to whom?

Ever told someone you are in love with them?
fuck yea.

Are you a romantic?
hopeless romantic.

Most romantic thing you've ever done?
er.. i've no idea.

how many bfs/gfs have you had in the past?

have you ever cheated?
never.never will.

Do you even like Valentine's Day?
only because of cupid.

Do you decorate your house for it?
when i was a kid i put paper hearts everywhere.

Do you want a Valentine this year?

Who is it? If not, why not?
i dont know i just saw him on the streets. xD

What's up with the single people who are always grumpy on Valentine's?
you mean like me? LOL.

What are you going to do on Valentine's Day?
date with myself.

What did you do last year?

Better to love and lose then never to love at all?
better to love and WIN than anything else.

How many times have you been in love?
i dont know what love is.

How did it feel?
butterflies.. i guess.

Define love in your own words.
crap. thing that makes everybody crazy.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
kind of.. gf.

If so, are you happy with him/her?

If not, are you happy being single?
i dont know what happy is.

What is your crush's name(s)? -- list all
James owen Sullivan, Patrick, blueberry, chibi,
and the handsome stranger i met on the street.

Who is the first person you ever remember having a crush on?
some neighbor

Do you believe in love at first sight?
second sight :D

A short kiss or a big hug?
big warm hug :D

Cute and dimwitted, or Medium and brilliant?
the 1st one.

long hair,not a pervert and always hating me.
and for girls.. fair skinned and fat.xD

cliches & thoughtless words.

What thing should a guy never say to you?
ask me to do dirty stuffs.

How do you feel about kissing on the first date?

What do you think of teenagers having sex on valentines?
thats nice. lol kidding. girls dont be such a whore.

if you would be given a chance to date with someone who would it be?
The Rev!:)

How far have you gone in public?

How far in private?

Are you using protection? lol
LOL. thats for sex you jerk.

what gift would you like to receive on Valentines?
a can of PIKNIK, messageboard, and that yellow tape that says 'police line do not cross'.

Your favorite quote about love?
love is gay.

Do you think your Valentine will read this?
nope. but i hope so.. ggrr that handsome stranger.sigh

do you enjoy doing this?
haay ang haba.

to my
Vanity Page


01. Im one of the most BORING person I know.

02. I hate humans.
03. I am a total hermit that never goes out the house.

04. I am a very Lazy person.

05. I like being a kid and I do not anticipate growing up, getting a job, getting life. lol.

06. I'm pretty much the outcast of the group. yeah Social Anxiety Disorder.

07. Im also Paranoid, Schyzotypal and and bi-polar so please bear with me.

08. Math is the wicked antagonist to my school life.

09. Sports and I are not very good together.

10. Im a dork at heart. You probably notice that when we talk.

11. I get depressed way too easy.

12. I like dark misty rainy days.

13. Im a loner. Its just something that relaxes me. i couldn't care less if you think its loser thing.

14. I keep useless things for recycling purposes until my mom throws them out.

15. I have an army of pik-nik cans at home.

16. I forget too easily. Short-term Memory Loss D:

17. Seventeen is my favorite number.

18. My thought of afterlife is, Reincarnation.

19. I dont usually enjoy chatting.

20. Gays turn me on. I just wish they like me.

21. Im a total ice cream whore. ^^

22. I have this attraction to crazy reh-tar-ded people.

23. I probably have the carpal tunnel syndrome already.

24. I tend to skin my lips off all the time. lol.

25. I am trying hard to be a Vegan.

26. I dont like the taste of some Japanese food to be honest.

27. I like the taste of Blood however. Haematodispia

28. NEVER trust me with cooking cuz everytime i cook i turn everything into charcoal. lmao.

29. There's something magical between Tim B. and Johnny D. =)

30. Avenged Sevenfold is the best kickass band ever.

31. Im accused to be vicious and vain solely because of too much staring at the mirror.xP

32. But im not the selfish type of vain. Im probably gonna die saving someone's life someday.

33. I am indecisive. i took hours to decide which one to buy.

34. Being friends with me means honesty and that you'll receive a real lot of frankness and it could be a bit bitchy but trust me its for your good. =)

35. I am *very sorry* for being a total cheapskate.

36. I always try to make people happy but I never seem to help and only makes things worse instead.

37. Im a horrible explainer.

38. I am too lazy to even eat so I only eat twice a day.

39. Our House is a zoo, mental hospital and hunted house. =)

40. I like hopeless romantic people alot.

41. I wear 275 graded lens.

42. Everyone thinks I don't care but I do.. Im just good at showing like I don't.

43. I have tons of books at home that i forgot to return to someone. LOL XD

44. Im only unfriendly because Im afraid.

45. I like quiet people who always have little things to say and stutter it.

47. I am a fan of Yaoi (gay love stories)

48. Everyone thinks im a vampire.

49. Ask them why.

50.) And Lastly, YOU MUST RATE AND TALK TO ME cause when the World is Mine, and i found out that you been to my profile and downrated me, i will give you a long and painful death. =))

You probably came up right now to the conclusion that you wasted your time reading this. ^^ and by the way,
this is my vanity page so if u have a problem with what I'm saying you can talk into this thing right here here.


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