Thursday, May 28, 2009

Jose Maria.

i have a friend,

fat.. smelly.. obnoxious.. he looks dirty in any angle.
he's not brilliant. he's not handsome.

but one thing that beats it all was his kindness.

even since our freshman year in high school,
I've already heard much rumor about him being an adopted child.
I found that out that it was true during our junior year, story told by our adviser.
Aside from that, I heard that the only person he could confide in the family was his 'father'.
His father was very famous in the city because he was a judge.
they were quite rich too, they have a bunch of cars and have such a huge house everywhere.
JM became famous to teachers, trycicle drivers, street food owners and so on.
however his father was quite sick and become bedridden sooner.
JM has a lot of 'siblings' too, but all of them are grown ups and is now pursuing their career and their own family.
the only one left to take care of him was his 'mother'.
during fist year, I heard that she was strict. Later on, I found out too that, in my and everyone's perspective.. nobody ever saw him treat Jm as her child.

We never really became that close.
back then when I was a new student, I was avoiding boys, since It was what the teachers in my past school taught us to avoid getting into trouble (a private catholic school for girls). When I first saw him, I thought he was a retarded kid who would try to hurt me if I make him abit mad. He was really a big guy. There's no way I could get up without a broken bone if he slammed me. So the first day of school, he was standing at the door asking everyone if they have a change for P100. I quickly passed through without glancing at him, cold sweat and shivering.

Looking back, I have to be one of the people that I hate. Heartless and judgemental.

I had a tough time overcoming my fear of him.
But during class, I actually found out that he was 'sane' and really nice too.
Even though Im still disgusted to even let my skin touch his because he was really darkened with uhm, accumulated grime.. or 'libag'.
Althroughout the years, group of boys would wrestle him, beat him down, and sometimes the shrewd ones would take his money and/or involve him in their shrewd business and gambles.

During the school's foundation day, I was too inlove with my bestfriend Reyna I only want her to be my partner to our field demo dance (w/c is a very cheesy Macarena) but we were supposed to have opposite sex partners.. so I chose JM without any hesitation for 3 reasons:
~no girl would want to even touch him, much more to dance with him, and I only felt pity. *sigh the world is so cruel before i came.. ne, JM?*
~ he's kind so I could beg him to trade places with reyna during practice ^^
~I thought that If I did, It would change everyone's opinion about him since I was a cool kid *back then all new students who are smart and have many friends are cool* OR I would be even cooler if I stand out with a guy like that.

break. jesus christ someone's playing a sneezy mexican tune down the neighborhood I just had to make a playlist and play it in a 100% volume to cover it up.
moving on..

It was really fun to finally practice with Jm, although I feel like every wrong movement he's gonna make was gonna break my bones plus!! fat people stinks like hell and we're in a total heat that time out on the field, noontime.

but then at that time, I discovered alot of things about Jm. I could tell from everything he does, that he is a thouhtful, down to earth, good-natured fella who has a pure heart, even though the horrid stuffs i witnessed happening to him (his mother, bullies, & girls whose even worse than bullies) was enough to bend down anyone's personality to be crazy mean.

We dont hang out together, but sometimes, we would sit on the same table at the library..
I would be holding a fiction book, he would be holding a cook book. =) He said he loves to cook, he wanted to be a chef someday just so he could bake cakes for himself. ^^
We would have fun conversations from that 20 minutes break, and just have good stories about food, our teachers, our classmates and some bizarre stuffs.

then on our 3rd year, we were chosen to join this contest.. I have no idea whats that contest is supposed to be anymore, but it was about science and some sculpture 2Meters high. It was Jm, Darell, Kaye and me (I just read the da vinci code at that time so i suggested we should make a vetruvian man out of plaster of paris and stuff. It turned out great but the plaster soon came off and the thing collapsed on itself because of the spray paint i guess, it melted the styrofoam inside.) but before that, we went to Jm's house to borrow some tools we'll use to build the skeleton and took some old rotten woods on their 'tambakan'. but the dogs woke up and kept howling and his mother saw us, maybe she thought that we're stealing and yelled at us oh boy I thought I was going to have a heart attack when she asked the maid to unleash the dogs, we really ran out of their house and we even heard her say she was going to file a case on us.

I knew Jm was really embarassed to us, but we kept silent and just joked about it. I want to tell him that its fine, its nothing. more than that, Jm was a already accumulating a fear inside him.. because at that time, his father was already too sick. I was secretly wishing for his father to heal back and gain back his health not fot him but for JM.

Not long after that, during our 4th year.. we heard that Jm's dad has already passed away.
That's whats brings me back to why I wrote this. I was praying last night for my parent's health and wishing that God would let them live longer. And then I wondered, just what does it feels like to have a parent passed away while you're a teenager?(because it seems easier for a kids and adults.) And I remembered and started to think about JM.

From then on, JM changed alot. He wasnt the happy-go-lucky person you'll see walking down the hallway anymore. He really slimmed down alot. He gets annoyed at the slightest thing. And everytime I look at him, even if he's laughing, I could still see the sadness in his eyes. Jm doesn't have much friend since grade school, much more a best friend. Its hard to think about it but I guess he never had someone to confide about his father's loss. And he'll never have a father to confide anymore. Despite that, he made it into graduation. He was still very nice, although i dont hear alot about him anymore since we're not classmates. He was a tough dude, and he would still probably defend his mother, siblings and friends against false judgements. ^^ He has the will of justice, righteousness, & integrity.. if only he would study harder to make it into a lawyer.

ne JM, If I could turn back time and be your bestfriend.. would your sadness atleast be eased?

to my
Vanity Page


01. Im one of the most BORING person I know.

02. I hate humans.
03. I am a total hermit that never goes out the house.

04. I am a very Lazy person.

05. I like being a kid and I do not anticipate growing up, getting a job, getting life. lol.

06. I'm pretty much the outcast of the group. yeah Social Anxiety Disorder.

07. Im also Paranoid, Schyzotypal and and bi-polar so please bear with me.

08. Math is the wicked antagonist to my school life.

09. Sports and I are not very good together.

10. Im a dork at heart. You probably notice that when we talk.

11. I get depressed way too easy.

12. I like dark misty rainy days.

13. Im a loner. Its just something that relaxes me. i couldn't care less if you think its loser thing.

14. I keep useless things for recycling purposes until my mom throws them out.

15. I have an army of pik-nik cans at home.

16. I forget too easily. Short-term Memory Loss D:

17. Seventeen is my favorite number.

18. My thought of afterlife is, Reincarnation.

19. I dont usually enjoy chatting.

20. Gays turn me on. I just wish they like me.

21. Im a total ice cream whore. ^^

22. I have this attraction to crazy reh-tar-ded people.

23. I probably have the carpal tunnel syndrome already.

24. I tend to skin my lips off all the time. lol.

25. I am trying hard to be a Vegan.

26. I dont like the taste of some Japanese food to be honest.

27. I like the taste of Blood however. Haematodispia

28. NEVER trust me with cooking cuz everytime i cook i turn everything into charcoal. lmao.

29. There's something magical between Tim B. and Johnny D. =)

30. Avenged Sevenfold is the best kickass band ever.

31. Im accused to be vicious and vain solely because of too much staring at the mirror.xP

32. But im not the selfish type of vain. Im probably gonna die saving someone's life someday.

33. I am indecisive. i took hours to decide which one to buy.

34. Being friends with me means honesty and that you'll receive a real lot of frankness and it could be a bit bitchy but trust me its for your good. =)

35. I am *very sorry* for being a total cheapskate.

36. I always try to make people happy but I never seem to help and only makes things worse instead.

37. Im a horrible explainer.

38. I am too lazy to even eat so I only eat twice a day.

39. Our House is a zoo, mental hospital and hunted house. =)

40. I like hopeless romantic people alot.

41. I wear 275 graded lens.

42. Everyone thinks I don't care but I do.. Im just good at showing like I don't.

43. I have tons of books at home that i forgot to return to someone. LOL XD

44. Im only unfriendly because Im afraid.

45. I like quiet people who always have little things to say and stutter it.

47. I am a fan of Yaoi (gay love stories)

48. Everyone thinks im a vampire.

49. Ask them why.

50.) And Lastly, YOU MUST RATE AND TALK TO ME cause when the World is Mine, and i found out that you been to my profile and downrated me, i will give you a long and painful death. =))

You probably came up right now to the conclusion that you wasted your time reading this. ^^ and by the way,
this is my vanity page so if u have a problem with what I'm saying you can talk into this thing right here here.


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