Saturday, March 28, 2009

He's back.

My beloved is back.

This is the only photo of us together that has survived after alot of reformatting done to my pc.

I remember Beng, told us to pose that way so we would look like emo kids. XD

i could lie and tell you that he's just my beloved friend.
but deep inside, I want to be his lover.

although, I am still mad at him.
how could he leave us like that?
how could he leave me and our friendship behind just for a girl?

Maybe he thought its alright. I did the same thing anyway. I was the first one to broke our promise.
I was the first one to leave him. I left him for a guy I thought I love. And where am I when HE needed me? I don't know why I did that either. I was foolishly in love back then.

I remember those days, when we were still too close to even separate during break times. Those days when he always mess my hair and replace it with the so called emo hairstlye. I remember the time when he asked me to wallk with him through the dark hallways of the lower part of our school, I thought he was afraid of darkness. so I did knowing that would get me a chance to get close to him behind our classmates' eyes. ^^ I was secretly having a crush on him when we were in 3rd year and I thought it already vanished as we came on 4th year. It actually did, because I knew he had a girlfriend and they have a such a good relationship with her, and she was really nice too. But every time he sit next to me, and start talking about bands *which I literally am the only one in class whose listening to it* he deliberately unveil that charade. Once when we were in the library, he suddenly brushed my hair off my face while I was writing my thesis. And once in the classroom he talked to me so close, I thought you were really gonna kiss me.

I dont know if you saw but my face was really red after that so I moved in somewhere away from you. You were such a tease, until now. Everything you do, everything you got is cool. But I guess you dont remember any of that anymore. I guess you dont even notice such little things.. that got stranded on my head for a year now.

Oh, If I knew he wasn't happy with his girlfriend at that time.. I would have been there to hear his problems. I would have been there for him to use me, You nympho. that's probably one of the reason i made distance with you at the first place. You only want to get laid.

Besides, even if he doesn't tell me, i knew there were tons of girls tripping over him.. and you just love it don't you? I am not that gutsy ever since.. I always tend to lose, or backout everytime some girl shows up next to him. I cant even tell him, or any of our friends how I feel. I guess I dont love him that much huh?

But even so, I already made a promise to myself. I would never have a boyfriend until 20, unless a miracle happens, and he could finally be my beau. I am not that ugly, note that. Im not that desperate to get a bf, It would be hard for me to wait and keep on ignoring other guys too.

That's how I will show my love for you. I promise that.

you know Revin, If I could only go back to the past.. I would really tell you that I love you.

to my
Vanity Page


01. Im one of the most BORING person I know.

02. I hate humans.
03. I am a total hermit that never goes out the house.

04. I am a very Lazy person.

05. I like being a kid and I do not anticipate growing up, getting a job, getting life. lol.

06. I'm pretty much the outcast of the group. yeah Social Anxiety Disorder.

07. Im also Paranoid, Schyzotypal and and bi-polar so please bear with me.

08. Math is the wicked antagonist to my school life.

09. Sports and I are not very good together.

10. Im a dork at heart. You probably notice that when we talk.

11. I get depressed way too easy.

12. I like dark misty rainy days.

13. Im a loner. Its just something that relaxes me. i couldn't care less if you think its loser thing.

14. I keep useless things for recycling purposes until my mom throws them out.

15. I have an army of pik-nik cans at home.

16. I forget too easily. Short-term Memory Loss D:

17. Seventeen is my favorite number.

18. My thought of afterlife is, Reincarnation.

19. I dont usually enjoy chatting.

20. Gays turn me on. I just wish they like me.

21. Im a total ice cream whore. ^^

22. I have this attraction to crazy reh-tar-ded people.

23. I probably have the carpal tunnel syndrome already.

24. I tend to skin my lips off all the time. lol.

25. I am trying hard to be a Vegan.

26. I dont like the taste of some Japanese food to be honest.

27. I like the taste of Blood however. Haematodispia

28. NEVER trust me with cooking cuz everytime i cook i turn everything into charcoal. lmao.

29. There's something magical between Tim B. and Johnny D. =)

30. Avenged Sevenfold is the best kickass band ever.

31. Im accused to be vicious and vain solely because of too much staring at the mirror.xP

32. But im not the selfish type of vain. Im probably gonna die saving someone's life someday.

33. I am indecisive. i took hours to decide which one to buy.

34. Being friends with me means honesty and that you'll receive a real lot of frankness and it could be a bit bitchy but trust me its for your good. =)

35. I am *very sorry* for being a total cheapskate.

36. I always try to make people happy but I never seem to help and only makes things worse instead.

37. Im a horrible explainer.

38. I am too lazy to even eat so I only eat twice a day.

39. Our House is a zoo, mental hospital and hunted house. =)

40. I like hopeless romantic people alot.

41. I wear 275 graded lens.

42. Everyone thinks I don't care but I do.. Im just good at showing like I don't.

43. I have tons of books at home that i forgot to return to someone. LOL XD

44. Im only unfriendly because Im afraid.

45. I like quiet people who always have little things to say and stutter it.

47. I am a fan of Yaoi (gay love stories)

48. Everyone thinks im a vampire.

49. Ask them why.

50.) And Lastly, YOU MUST RATE AND TALK TO ME cause when the World is Mine, and i found out that you been to my profile and downrated me, i will give you a long and painful death. =))

You probably came up right now to the conclusion that you wasted your time reading this. ^^ and by the way,
this is my vanity page so if u have a problem with what I'm saying you can talk into this thing right here here.


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