Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the chemical change.

Its 2:50 am and I couldnt sleep. :( God the summer heat is back. I just watched The Hitcher from HBO. Good God! Sean Bean reminded me of Janjan again. That awful bastard's been haunting me for weeks now. I fuckin dont know what to do to him and nobody has ever given me any helpful advice. I've deleted him from my contacts, were not even talking for like a month now and yet he's still there creepy crawling in my thoughts. :s I dont know why I'm still thinking of him after he dumped me. Big time.

yeah, after we dated (1st time), I fell in love with him & told him about it and he just shrugged and laughed. I've no idea what I did wrong. Oh wait, is it because I was late for like 2 hours? that should be it you know. Its more bearable than being turned-off at or finding another girl to flirt with. fuckin bastard. Thats so stupid of me.. "Hey, you know I think I just fell in love with you." -what the fuck was I thinking? Oh yes, that he'd say the same thing. But no he didnt. he just fuckin laughed about it and said, "oh what do you know? haha that was shocking." smth like that. He's a dead man now. At least to me. I never talked talked to him after that.. well after I gave him a sign w/ love you on it. my God.. I feel completely humiliated. What a shame Rev, where's your infinite pride now huh? Its all you have and you let it go. And you Love! go to hell! come back when you make up your mind. And you cupid! you little brat.. next time you shoot your fuckn arrows wear glasses. He's not even handsome.. not even close to the dream guy. He's way to far. He's ugly. The only thing attractive to him is that He's fat, kinda long haired and a bassist. Alright he's cute. He's really like Sean Bean.. like a douchebag. God I dont know what kind of potion did he put on me.

Its Amazing how things change so fast you know. It seems like yesterday there's this totally annoying guy whom I've detested so much. I'd always change my status busy or just invisible to avoid talking to him or any other guy. But he just kept saying sweet things!!! i assume its was just a flurting msg he leaves at every girl he meet and that really beats his record. DOUCHEBAG. But damn guys are always flirting. And then I finally said I wasnt in to boys (Bi) and then he asked 'are you a lesbian?' and then i said 'no not. just bi.' And I thought that he understand that but he asked me out on a date.. he asked me all the time to go to gigs but I couldnt go I even felt sorry cause he kept missing all his favorite band cause of me. And so I went on this date to mall cause I also have to buy smth. I went. I was so fuckin late hahaha about 2 hrs and he's waiting there for like 4hrs since his class got out early wasnt my fault though. My mom asked me to cook first before leaving. part of my job. But I could tell he's totally pissed when I showed up. And then he said he already bought tickets for this RR9 gig which he's been planning to go long time ago. He said he bought one for me and I said I couldnt go. I never told him I would go anyway. Maan, that completely beat him out I bet. OMG i was so sorry. But he could bring someone else there right? I dont care if its another girl rr9 isnt for me.. I dont even know the bands playing there.

Moving on.. I couldnt still move on from him. I bet he does. He's got tons of others to go out with. hmm :( And now I think Im obcessed with him. Its been weeks now but when I remember him (w/c happens all the time) my heart beasts so fast and have butterflies and bats on my tummy. haha bats. death bat. xD

I dont know what to do.. I want to leave him message later on his friendster but Im shyyyyy. I want to take it out this obcession already. I dont think I could wait for four months to find out if this is love or infucktuation. huhu he really got me all depressed. ok. aiight Im gonna do it. =) wish me luck pleaase, God. =)

talk to you later. bye bye.

to my
Vanity Page


01. Im one of the most BORING person I know.

02. I hate humans.
03. I am a total hermit that never goes out the house.

04. I am a very Lazy person.

05. I like being a kid and I do not anticipate growing up, getting a job, getting life. lol.

06. I'm pretty much the outcast of the group. yeah Social Anxiety Disorder.

07. Im also Paranoid, Schyzotypal and and bi-polar so please bear with me.

08. Math is the wicked antagonist to my school life.

09. Sports and I are not very good together.

10. Im a dork at heart. You probably notice that when we talk.

11. I get depressed way too easy.

12. I like dark misty rainy days.

13. Im a loner. Its just something that relaxes me. i couldn't care less if you think its loser thing.

14. I keep useless things for recycling purposes until my mom throws them out.

15. I have an army of pik-nik cans at home.

16. I forget too easily. Short-term Memory Loss D:

17. Seventeen is my favorite number.

18. My thought of afterlife is, Reincarnation.

19. I dont usually enjoy chatting.

20. Gays turn me on. I just wish they like me.

21. Im a total ice cream whore. ^^

22. I have this attraction to crazy reh-tar-ded people.

23. I probably have the carpal tunnel syndrome already.

24. I tend to skin my lips off all the time. lol.

25. I am trying hard to be a Vegan.

26. I dont like the taste of some Japanese food to be honest.

27. I like the taste of Blood however. Haematodispia

28. NEVER trust me with cooking cuz everytime i cook i turn everything into charcoal. lmao.

29. There's something magical between Tim B. and Johnny D. =)

30. Avenged Sevenfold is the best kickass band ever.

31. Im accused to be vicious and vain solely because of too much staring at the mirror.xP

32. But im not the selfish type of vain. Im probably gonna die saving someone's life someday.

33. I am indecisive. i took hours to decide which one to buy.

34. Being friends with me means honesty and that you'll receive a real lot of frankness and it could be a bit bitchy but trust me its for your good. =)

35. I am *very sorry* for being a total cheapskate.

36. I always try to make people happy but I never seem to help and only makes things worse instead.

37. Im a horrible explainer.

38. I am too lazy to even eat so I only eat twice a day.

39. Our House is a zoo, mental hospital and hunted house. =)

40. I like hopeless romantic people alot.

41. I wear 275 graded lens.

42. Everyone thinks I don't care but I do.. Im just good at showing like I don't.

43. I have tons of books at home that i forgot to return to someone. LOL XD

44. Im only unfriendly because Im afraid.

45. I like quiet people who always have little things to say and stutter it.

47. I am a fan of Yaoi (gay love stories)

48. Everyone thinks im a vampire.

49. Ask them why.

50.) And Lastly, YOU MUST RATE AND TALK TO ME cause when the World is Mine, and i found out that you been to my profile and downrated me, i will give you a long and painful death. =))

You probably came up right now to the conclusion that you wasted your time reading this. ^^ and by the way,
this is my vanity page so if u have a problem with what I'm saying you can talk into this thing right here here.


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